Fullmetal Alchemist: No Sense
by Kyoki-chan
Summary: Edward and Alphonse are making thier way back to Central when they encounter a teenager that wants to pick a fight with them. Along the way they have to travel together back to Central under unsual circumstances.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. I do own Lan Orion and any other charcters unless started otherwise.**

**Chapter One: **

It was a nice day. The sky was clear, the birds were chirping and flying around, there was hardly a cloud in the sky. Edward Elric began to think this was going to be quite a good day. He and his brother Alphonse Elric were waiting at the train station for their friend Winry. She was coming to town to fix Edwards automail…again. He was looking forward to seeing his old friend again, but not looking forward for her lectures about being more careful with his automail. He shook his head, not wanting to think how it got broke in the first place. It was depressing that it got trashed from some punk. Edward should have been back in a hospital or something, anything but moving around with his automail that was working less and less every time he moved. He turned to look at Al, who was sitting and waiting patiently. Edward couldn't take it anymore so he yelled, "What the hell is taking the train so damn long?!"

"You have to be patient, brother. I'm sure it had a small delay or something. Maybe there was a poor cat or something in sitting on the train tracks and they had to stop it for that." Al suggested. He jumped at his brothers' next outburst.

"Yea, well! Then that cat should not have been there in the first place!" Edward said, crossing his arms over his chest.

Al knew his brother was not mad at the train. He was mad about his arm and the guy who messed it up. Alphonse wanted to say something to help his brother calm down, but he could not think of anything to say. So he remained quiet. He did not want to accidentally say about what happened to his automail and get his brother into a further bad mood. He stood up happily when he heard the train whistle off in the distance. "Ed! It's here! The train is finally here! We can see Winry now!"

"Great…" Ed said, looking down at the ground.

The two of them waited in silence as the train slowed down, then stopped and the people abroad the train filed out. People walked by them, giving Alphonse odd looks, but that was about it. They just continued on with their lives. When most of the people were off and there was no Winry, they began to think this was the wrong train. But at last, they saw Winry jump off and run toward them. "Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late. There were some engine problems."

"I see. I'm glad that you got here safely." Al said happily. "The Colonel is out getting the car ready for us to take back."

"Me too." Edward said. "I'm happy to see you too, I guess."

She quickly pulled out a wrench and waked Edward over the head with it. "And you! What the hell did you do this time to break your automail? You know I can not keep running out here every time it breaks."

Before Ed could defend himself, a dark haired person walked over to them and said "I'm sorry, I am reason for it breaking." All three of them turned to look at the newcomer. Ed growled in frustration.

The person had short black that was very messy and went every which way. He had dark eyes. He looked like he was about seventeen years old, and appeared to be about five foot eleven inches, way taller than Ed, that was for sure. He was wearing a black sleeveless t-shirt under a long black light coat that went down to his knees. He had black pants and black boots. On his hands he has black fingerless gloves. And around his neck was a chain, but it is uncertain if there is something on it since it went down under his shirt. He ran his hands through his hair to make sure it was at the right quality of messiness.

"Hello. Are you Al and Ed's friend?" Winry smiled at him.

"That's a laugh." Edward said under his breath. He wanted to yell out why this punk was there, but he somehow held it back.

"No, not quite. I am Lan Orion and I'm the reason why your friend here had to call you here to fix his automail. So I wouldn't be yelling at him this time about breaking it." he smiled at her.

Ed could not hold it back any longer. "What the hell are you doing here Lan?! Don't you think you cause me enough anger the last time we met? Besides where is that person you were with last time? Maybe I can kick both of your asses at the same time now!"

Lan ignored Edward and continued to smile. Then in one swift movement he moved forward and wrapped his arm around her waist. "Hey you girlie, why don't you lose this short stupid loser and his brother and come with me? I assure you we will have lots of fun together."

Winry blushed, not sure what to do. She was slightly taken aback by his sudden offer.

Edward quickly rushed forward, grabbed Winry's arm and pulled her out of Lan's hold. "Don't ever touch her! AND I'M NOT SHORT! I'm the smartest person you have ever seen!"

"Sure, whatever just keep telling yourself that. Someday I'll come true," he said, rolling his eyes. He then looked at Edward, very serious. "Are you jealous, little shorty?"

"Hell no! Are you demented and delusional or something?" Edward said angrily.

"Awwww! So cute! Little Eddy has a crush on me." Lan leaned forward so his face was inches from Ed's. He didn't seem have paid any attention to Edwards' last comment. "But since you don't want me to be with her, does that mean…you have feelings for me?" He placed one hand underneath Ed's chin. "If you love me, I'm sure I can find a way in my heart to love you in return. Plus we're both guys, but I'm sure we can get through _that_ obstacle, right?"

Ed's eyes widen in shock and anger as Lan spoke.

At that moment Roy, who had just returned from finding them a ride back, walked over to them. "What is going on out here…?" He looked at Lan and Ed, then said in an angered tone, "What the hell is going on? If you are bothering Fullmetal, I advise you to step back."

Lan didn't move, Ed stepped away from Lan.

Lan took a few steps back. "Oh, I see…so you two are together, right?"

"No! It's nothing like that!" they both yelled at the same time. Ed's face began to turn a dark pink, while Roy remained perfectly calm.

"Hmph...Yea, right..." Lan smiled. "Just keep telling yourselves that and I'm sure someday it'll happen. Not!" he snickered.

"Why don't you just leave before you get hurt." Roy snapped. He held his hand loosely at his side and prepared them in case he had to snap them in a hurry to get fire.

"Oh really? That makes me want to laugh. If we were to fight, which I'm not here to do today, I would have to say that I would not be the one getting hurt, you would." Lan said.

"I beg to differ." Roy said coldly.

"Hmm… perhaps I shall give you a taste of what your friend already had." He held out his hand, made a fist. A few seconds later, water began to pour out of his hand on onto the pavement.

Roy gave the younger guys a confused look, not knowing what he was doing. But Ed and Al on the other hand, did know what was going on. The two brothers scooted away a few feet so they would not be in the way. They pulled Winry along with them.

"How is that threatening…?" Roy wondered out loud.

"Just shut up, Mustang." Ed warned.

Lan sneered. All the water that was on the ground, and water that was still pouring out of his hand floated up into the air. It hovered over Roy's head and came crashing down on him when Lan snapped his fingers. Lan snickered at the wet military dog.

Roy was drenched from head to toe. "…how did you do that? You didn't make a alchemy symbol…"

"I'm just lucky, I guess." Lan smiled.

"See, I told you he didn't use one." Ed shot at Roy.

Roy ignored Ed and stared at Lan.

"Try your gloves. I bet you can't start a fire." Lan said.

Roy snapped his fingers to…have nothing happen. "What…?"

"They are wet. Can you get a soggy wet log to catch fire? Nope! You can't. And that is what your gloves are right now. Soggy and wet!" Lan laughed.

"I… You… I need to be alone…" Roy left and headed toward the nearest bathroom. He didn't have to go or anything, he just wanted to leave to be in private so he could get over the fact that he was almost useless when it came to this teenager punk.

"Lan Orion! Where are you? Lannie-chan?!" a female voice called from down the train station.

Lan's eyes widen in fear at the voice. "Oh, shit! I have to get out of here. Little Missy, can you help me? Please? Tin-man, can you please help me? That girl is the most evilest person you will ever meet!"

Al looked at his brother who was shaking his head no, but Al turned back to Lan, smiled and said, "Sure. Hop in." He opened his armor to let Lan jumped in.

"AH! WHAT THE HELL?! WHERE THE HELL IS YOUR BODY, DUDE! NEVER MIND THAT! I WILL HAVE TO ENDURE THE CREEPY EMPTY ARMOR THAT SEEMS TO TALK ON IT'S OWN!" Lan yelled as he jumped in.

Al closed the armor and bucked it back up.

"Al…" Ed growled.

"What? He needs help. If he says that person is evil, then she is evil and we have to help him." Al said.

"Yea, but _he _is evil!" Ed snapped.

"Technically, I'm not evil, I'm just a nuisance to you and society. But I will take that as a compliment any way. " Lan said from inside Al. "Wow…it's rather quite cozy in here. Anywho, has that girl appeared yet? Why don't you have a body? Is your body a few feet away controlling this thing with your mind or something?"

"Will you shut up in there?" Ed snapped at him.

"I am not going to listen to a little snot nose punk like you." Lan snapped back.

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?! I AM NOT A LITTLE PIECE OF PAPER THAT GOT RIPPED OFF AND BLOWS IN THE WIND AND YOU CAN ONLY SEE IT IF IT GET STUCK IN YOUR EYE!" Ed yelled. "Al, open up and let me get in there to kick his ass."

"You really don't like that 'little' word, do you?" Lan muttered to himself.

"Brother…please calm down. Look, Colonel Mustang is coming back. Why don't we just leave and calm down?"

Roy approached them and looked around, "Where did that guy go?"

"I do have a name you know. It's Lan. Could you please refer me as that, you wet military dog?!" Lan yelled from inside of Al.

"Would someone care to explain why he is in Al?" Roy asked, his wet fingers ready to snap and be useless as soon as Lan acted up.

Al looked down sheepishly. "Well, Colonel, you see…there is a evil woman over there calling for Lan and Lan wants to get away from her. So I let him hide inside."

Roy sighed and turned to Edward. "You're brother is too kind for his own good. Let's leave and dump that pipsqueak on the way out."

"C'mon Al. Let's do what the colonel says and find a good place to dump him." Ed said.

Roy began to led the way out of there and Ed, Winry and Al slowly followed.

"Do we have to dump him? Can't he come with us for a little bit? I know he did that to your arm…But… He doesn't seem all that bad." Al said.

"Al, he's not some stray cat. And yes, we do have to dump him and no he cannot come with us." Ed said.

"But…but…brother!" Al whined.

"No, Al." Ed said firmly. "If you're thinking about keeping him, don't do it."

"Hello…uh, I'm not a object or some kitten. Could you refer treat me like a HUMAN?!"

Roy stopped walking and turned to face them. "Alphonse is onto something there. We should keep that brat for a little bit. Maybe he is part of some organization that is against the military. We could keep him for a few days and get as much information out of him as we can."

"WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP CALLING ME A BRAT OR WHATEVER! I HAVE A NAME! I TOLD YOU MY NAME! WILL YOU PLEASE USE MY NAME?!" Lan yelled rather loudly, causing them all to jump. "TELLING SOMEONE YOUR NAME AND THEN THEM NOT USING IT MAKES NO SENSE! NO DAMN SENSE AT ALL! AND IT IS VERY RUDE! NOT THAT I KNOW THE BEST MANNERS IN THE WORLD, BUT I DO KNOW IT IS RUDE TO NOT CALL SOMEONE BY THEIR NAME WHEN THEY HAVE ASKED YOU MULTIPLE TIMES TO DO SO!"

"Shut up in there! Or do you want that so called evil girl to find you?" Winry said to Lan.

"Oh… she didn't hear me, did she? Is she coming toward us? Do you see her?" Lan asked frantically.

Al turned around. "Nope, there is no one insight that looks like they are looking for you."

"Thank goodness." Lan sighed.

Roy cleared his voice so he was the center of attention again. "Now, if you please, we should hurry back so we can get this 'Lan' under surveillance."

Then, Ed cleared his voice so everyone would look at him. "Well, you wouldn't have to tell us to hurry if you would just walk and shut up."

Roy just smirked and turned around. "It wouldn't take so long to walk out of here if you actually used those little legs of you and walk."

"What did you say?!" Ed was starting to get filled with utmost anger.

"You heard me, Fullmetal." Roy said.

Before Ed could reply, they heard snoring sounds come from Al. They all looked over at him curiously.

"Al, are you sleeping?" Ed asked.

"Uh, no. I think Lan is though…" Al said.

Ed hit the side of Al's armor with his left hand as the continued to walk. "Hey wake up in there. It's not nice to sleep when you have guests."

"Owwwww! You punk! When I come out there, I am going to kick our ass so hard and pound your face in so much that when I am finished with you, no one will be able to tell the difference between them!" Lan yelled.

"Yea, I'd love to see you try." Ed said, smiling at the thought of the rematch he and Lan would have when the punk got out. "Talk all you want, but I will be the one to kick our ass."

Lan laughed. "You're funny, did you know that? I would love to see you get one of your tiny little short chicken legs up high enough to even kick my ass."

Winry stepped in front of Ed. "Ed, I know he is making you angry, but you have to calm down. You don't want to make a scene and make your automail even more unrepairable, do you?"

"BUT…HE…HE STARTED IT!" Ed yelled.

"Brother, listen to Winry and settle down. Please?" Al pleaded with his older brother.

Ed looked up at him. "Oh fine." Ed crossed his arm over his chest and looked off in the distance as we walked.

The four of them walked the rest of the way to the car in silence while Lan rested inside Al and drifted back off to sleep.

X X

**Pleaes let me know if you like this fanfic or not. I'm am kinda curious. XD**


	2. Chapter 2: Detour

**I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. I do own Lan Orion and any other charcters . Toshiro is not created by me but by Fenne-chan. She has allowed me permission to use him in this fanfic.**

**Chapter Two: Detour**

Roy, Edward, Winry, and Al (and Lan who was still inside Al) were all making their way through the semi busy train station to the front where their transportation vehicle was. Roy, who was slightly ahead of the group, saw the military car before the others so he began to head that way while the others followed him. He was almost there but stopped when he saw Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye standing a few feet from the car. She saw them and approached them. Roy started at her, confused that she was there.

"Lieutenant…what are you doing here? Aren't you suppose to be in Central?" he asked her as he started at her.

Riza opened her mouth to answer but did not get to respond since the car blew up in a huge massive explosion. The blast threw all five of them several yards away. Since Riza had her black to the explosion she landed on her stomach. All the others landed on their or on their sides. None of them was seriously injured, just a few scratches here and there.

"Why the hell did you do that, Colonel?!" Edward yelled, jumping to his feet immediately, which was somewhat difficult for him to do since that little toss caused his automail have further problems.

"Why would I blow up our transportation, Fullmetal?" Roy asked as he got p and began to dust himself off. "Is everybody ok?"

Edward replied by mumbling something indecent and crossed his arms over his chest.

"I'm fine." Riza said, walking over to Roy.

"Me too." Winry said as she rubbed her hands together to try to get the burning feeling out of her hands from scratching them on the sidewalk.

"Al? Where are you?" Edward looked around when he did not hear or see his younger brother.

"I'm here." Alphonse said as he ran out of a small alley that he had landed himself in. "I'm worried about Lan. I hope he didn't get hurt."

"Who is Lan?" Riza asked.

From inside Al there came a small snoring sound. Riza, thinking that it was something that would cause Al harm; she raised her gun to the torso area of the armor.

"Lieutenant, calm down. It's only some punk we caught that was causing Edward trouble. We ran into him a few minutes ago." Roy explained to her.

"Oh, I see." Riza lowered her gun.

"I guess he is ok if he is still sleeping. Rotten bastard." Edward said as he glared at the part of the armor where Lan was in.

Al sighed with relief. "That's good. I was worried."

"Colonel, I have urgent news for you and the boys." Riza told them.

"Uh, shouldn't we put out that fire before it can spend?" Al asked.

"Al…do not tell me you're thinking what I think you're thinking." Edward mumbled.

"He can help us do that. It would be easy for him." Al responded.

"I don't know Al…" Edward replied.

"Alphonse, let him out. We'll see if he can make himself useful or not. And if he tries anything funny I'll flame him." Roy told them with great confidence.

"You're useless remember? You're gloves are wet." Ed reminded him.

Roy looked down at his gloves, remembering what happened earlier. "Well, you're not very helpful with your automail like that. So we will have to rely on Lieutenant Hawkeye and Alphonse if he tries anything funny."

Riza quietly readied her gun.

"O-ok. But I'm sure it won't come to that." Al opened the front of his armor and the teenager slid out of and landed with his knees curled under him, making his rear a foot in the air. Lan was fast asleep.

"What the… he's still asleep? I'll take care of that though." Ed grinned mischievously and ran over to where Lan was laying and kicked him as hard as he could in the rear with his left leg.

Lan woke up instantly after being kicked with a metal leg. He stood up and glared at everyone except Alphonse. "Who the fucking hell did that?!" His eyes glimmered with hatred so strong it made Winry flinch.

Everyone pointed to Edward.

"H-hey! That's not fair!" Ed yelled as he glared at the taller teenager.

"You! I should have known it was you! You snot nose little punk!"

"Who you calling so small that they cannot be seen without a telescope?!"

"You! That's who!" Lan yelled. He began to march toward Edward as Ed did the same thing.

"Ah! Please don't fight! Big brother, calm down. Lan, could you put out that fire on this car?" Al said, trying to get the two of them to back off from each other.

Lan sighed and whispered to Edward, "You got lucky today. I'll beat you up so bad one day when your little brother isn't around. He won't be able to recognize you when I'm finished." He then turned to Al. "Why should I put it out? I bet you alchemist can do it since you're oh so strong."

Edward whispered back some cruel things to Lan, but Lan ignored him.

"You use alchemy too, don't you?" Al asked.

"Nope. I never learned any of that stuff." Lan said. He scratched the back of his head. He enjoyed being the center of attention.

"Then how the hell do you control that water and make it appear?" Ed snapped.

"Don't know, don't care." Lan smirked.

"Could we get back to concentrating on the car, please?" Roy asked them.

"Could you please put it out Lan? It would help out us out a lot and prevent the fire from spreading. Please?" Al pleaded.

"Fine. But you owe me one." Lan growled. He walked toward the burning car. _What have I gotten myself into? Why am I really going to help them? I should just escape and get back to the hideout…Damnit! It's that stupid brats brother! Maybe I'm doing this because he reminds me of- No! He is nothing like her. I'll just go along with their little game, and when the time is right, then I will make my escape._

"Don't try anything funny. And do not attempt to escape." Roy told him.

"I wouldn't dream of it." Lan mumbled. He held out his hand and water began to spray all over the car. The water appeared to come out of nowhere. Within seconds the cars fire was put out. Lan turned his head sharply to the left to crack is neck so it would loosen up from the way he had been sleeping. "Nothing to it."

"That's wonderful. Now get back in Alphonse's armor." Roy said emotionlessly.

"Yea, yea. I'm getting there. Normally I would have ignored you and ran away, but today I'm kinda tired." He said as he walked over to Al and climbed in.

Al closed it up. "So what are we going to do now?"

Riza spoke up. "Colonel, you are needed immediately back at Central as soon as possible. It involves the boys as well."

"What's wrong?" Roy asked.

"I cannot say it here." Riza said.

"Alright. The Elrics have to come with us so I guess Winry can tag along. He'll have to come along as well. Wouldn't want to that punk him out of our custody." Roy told them.

"Yes sir." Riza replied.

"Guess we have to go back to the train station…" Roy mumbled. He turned and began to head back in. The others followed.

"You're not going anywhere," a voice hissed at them from behind. Roy turned back around to see a young woman wearing a black fancy kimono. Her long brown hair was braided into two long braids that flew back and forth in the wind. Her skin was very pale.

"Who the hell are you?" Edward demanded to know.

"Me? I'm your worst enemy and if you don't stop your silly hunt for the Philosopher's Stone, you will be killed. This is your only warning." She took two stone looking objects from the waistband from her kimono and threw them at the ground. Grey smoke began blowing everywhere making it hard to see or breath. But it only lasted for a few moments. When the smoke cleared, the mysterious young woman was gone.

"Who the hell was that?" Winry asked.

"Was that the person you were hiding from?" Al asked Lan.

"No. That wasn't the one." Lan told them. "I've never heard that voice before. But I have heard from some people about some mysterious girl, but I'm not sure if it was the same person."

There was complete silence for a couple of minutes.

"So! Go on! What did you hear?!" Edward yelled impatiently.

"Why should I tell you?" Lan snapped.

Edward was about to reply but stopped when he felt Roy's hand, which was now gloveless, on his shoulder. He looked up at Roy who had a calm expression.

"If you do not tell us about this girl, I cannot ensure that you are released unharmed." Roy said in a neutral tone.

"Is that suppose to be a threat? Am I supposed to be scared? It's a pretty lame threat if you ask me." he laughed.

"Lan, please just tell them." Al pleaded.

"Fine, but you own me…again." Lan sighed. _Why the hell am I doing everything this suit of armor is asking me to do! I can't believe this! Argh! I just want today to end! I want to get back to the hideout and just sleep…_ "Some people have been talking about some mysterious young woman who appears out of nowhere and demands to know where someone she apparently knows is. I don't know what the name is of the person she is looking for or why she wants to find them. Maybe it's some boyfriend who cheated on her and she is hunting him down. Who knows?"

"That's all?" Ed thought there would be more than that.

"Yep, that's all." Lan replied. "So are we going on a train or what?"

"Ah, yes. We should hurry or we'll have to wait a couple more hours for another train to come." Roy comment as he rushed back to the train platform where they sold the tickets.

The others quickly followed him without speaking.

X X

**Well... that was chapter two... I hope it was entertaining...**


	3. Chapter 3: Lose Control

**I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. I do own Lan Orion and any other charcters . Toshiro is not created by me but by Fenne-chan. She has allowed me permission to use him in this fanfic.**

**Chapter Three: Lose Control**

Roy handed getting the tickets while Riza and the others waited on the platform. When Roy came back, he was grinning.

"Why the hell are _you_ smiling?" Ed said.

"Because I just saved some money by using Geiko." Roy smiled.

"What the hell is that?" Ed yelled.

"Do you have to question me on everything I say. I don't know what it is. I just felt saying it. But I did save some money. I didn't have to pay for Orion's seat. You should ride inside Al, it saves a lot of money." Roy answered. "The trains leaving soon so let's hurry on."

Ed growled while Al held his hand up in front of his brothers' face and said, "Ed, calm down."

"Al, did you hear what he said?"

"I did, Ed. It was only a joke." Al said quickly, but his brother was not listening to him. Edward was off looking at a girl who appeared to be thirteen or so had just bumped into another person and was apologizing nonstop.

"She looks familiar…" Ed said to no one in particular.

"Yea, she's kinda cute too." Al said.

"Who's cute?! I wanna see!" Lan yelled.

"C'mon boys. We don't want to miss the train." Riza said over her shoulder as she walked toward the loading platform of the station.

"Yes, Lieutenant." Ed said and he and Al rushed over to catch up with her.

A minute later and they were all on the train and in their seats. Edward and Alphonse sat on one side of the little two-seat train box while Roy and Riza sat on the other half. Roy and Edward both stared out the window since they were sitting facing each other. Sitting diagonally across from them, the girl who had bumped into the stranger and had apologized greatly sat there. She was sitting all alone. Her back was to them so they could not see much of what she was doing or what she looked like up close. Her head was slightly leaned forward and resting against the window so it almost looked like she was sleeping. But if you got close enough, you would see that she was not sleeping, her eyes were wide open and her fingers were fiddling with the sleeve of her jacket.

"Hey, can I get out for a little bit? I'm starting to get cramps in here… and a little bit claustrophobic as well…" Lan whined.

"No." Roy replied.

"No." Lan said back, in a mocking tone. Lan then began to mumble on about how unfair it was being treated like that. He complained for several minutes. As he mumbled and complained, the train pulled out of the station and began to make its way to Central. He finally quieted down when he got tired of talking and took a little nap, much to everyone's relief.

Riza and Roy began to chitchat between themselves while Winry began to complain to Edward about taking better care of his automail and how it was a bother for him to come all the way out there to fix it for him while Edward stared out the window as he ignored her. Al sat quietly with this hands resting in his lap.

Ten minutes into the ride, the door burst suddenly open and a man who had very short hair and black sunglasses walked in. He held a gun in his hand and in his other an object that almost looked like a bouncy ball that young children would most likely be seen playing with. Two other guys stood behind him. They all were wearing clothing you would expect a bandit type person to wear.

"Hey there people! This here train is now under the control of Sorano. So sit back and relax until we decide what to do with you scumbags," the one in front said. As he spoke, he was mainly looking at Edward and his group.

"Troy, should we, you know…" one of the behinders said.

"Who the hell are you people?" Edward asked. He had to sit up and look behind to see whom he was talking too.

Troy ignored them and whispered something to the two other men. They both nodded and left the way they had just come from.

"Take a nap. It looks like you need one." Troy laughed and then threw the ball in Roy's direction. Before it made contact, he ran out of the area and slammed the door behind him.

"What is that?" Edward asked as he followed the ball with his eyes.

The ball gently hit Roy on the chest and then bounced onto the floor.

"What was so threatening about that?" Roy wondered as he began to slowly stand up. A second after he made that comment, the swivel of smoke began to pour out of the ball. Within seconds the five of them were surrounded by smoke. The smoke was only covering around them. The girl who was sitting across from them was unaffected because it did not reach her. When it cleared everything was silent.

"Brother? Are you ok?" Al looked at his brother and the others and realized they were all sleeping. He sighed in relief that that was the only thing that the gas did.

"Hey Tin-man? What the hell is going on out there?" Lan questioned as he tapped on the side of Al's body.

"Lan! You're awake?" Al cried out happily.

"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?" Lan snapped.

Al explained to him what just transpired.

"Oh…Good think I was in here then, huh?" Lan laughed. "Now how about letting me out of here, old buddy?"

"I-I can't." Al replied.

"What if I helped you help all the people on this train and save them from the big bad bullies on the train? You know you cant' do it alone. What do you say? I help you for a little bit of freedom. I know you want me to help you since you most likely want innocent people to get hurt and all that nonsense, right?" Lan said in a laid back tone.

"I do want help…but…"Al began to say.

"But nothing. You need my help and that is that. Let me help you. No one will ever know or find out about this. This will be our little secret, but you will own me once again. Pretty please? Let me out? My back is really starting to hurt from sleeping like this." Lan complained.

Al thought it over and then sighed. "Alright. But don't do anything bad." Al opened his armor. After he was out, he closed it back up.

Lan climbed out and stretched. His backs joints cracked as they began to get use to being up straight and moving in normal ways. "Ah, now that feels nice." He noticed the girl out of the corner of his eye and looked at her. "She's still awake too. Did you know that?"

Al was surprised and looked over at her as well. "Uh, hello miss. Are you okay?"

The girl looked at them both of them and nodded. "Yes. Just startled by this, I guess. This is the first time I've been on a train and it was attacked or whatever by people like that. It seems like those bandits didn't like your group in particular."

"Yea. You're right about that." Lan answered.

"I'm Alphonse Elric, um, just so you know and all." Al said nervously.

"I'm Lan Orion. Not that you really need to know or anything." he informed her.

"I'm Takanari Tsukami." She looked at the two of them and her face suddenly became pale as she realized that Al was an empty suit of armor. "Wait… weren't you in the armor? If you're not in the armor…then how are you talking and moving? And if you aren't in there…who is? What is…going on? I should have stayed home today…this is way too much for my small brain to handle…"

"I…uh…we…ah…" Al stuttered, not sure what to say.

_She just not realized that? Is this girl slow or something? Oh well. Better get her mind off of Al, I guess… _Lan looked down at her. "Isn't Takanari a boys name?"

"Yes. But my parents thought I was going to be a boy and they had grown so fond of that name so that when I was born they decided to keep that name for me." She smiled, forgetting about the whole Al being a talkin' walkin' suit of armor.

"That kinda makes your parents sound lazy…" Lan folded his arms over his chest. He began to tap his foot impatiently. "I don't mean to sound like the goody two shoes in this group, but shouldn't we hurry up and kick the bad guys ass. Not my ass though, since I'm not the cause of this mayhap. And then after we are all done we can hold hands and skip off in to the sunset singing cheesy songs."

"Tsukami-san, we have to go see what is going on. Please remain here where it is safe." Al told her. He bowed slightly and began to turn to go through the door the bandits had appeared and left from. Lan did the same.

"Please, wait. Let me help you." Takanari stood up. "And please call me Takanari…or Taka…or Nari…Kana. Or whatever you wish."

"No way. It's really dangerous. We don't know what we are up against. Besides you'll only get in the way." Lan was beginning to get very impatient.

"He's right. It is going to be dangerous." Al told her sadly.

"Please… I know alchemy…if that makes any difference. I'm still learning it all though so I'm not the best. But I really want to help." Takanari pleaded. "What if I stayed here and protected your friends in case they come back?"

Al nodded. "That sounds great. What do you think Lan?" Al asked, looking at the seventeen-year-old teenager.

_What do I think? I think this girl is absolutely slow in the head or stupid or something. First you tell her that you can't come with us, so then she gets the idea to stay here and protect them. She would have most likely ended up doing that without bringing it up in a conversation. She acts like she is thirteen years old…maybe she is…I should ask her…_ He looked at Al. "Fine. Whatever. I don't' care what she doe as long as she does not get in my way. Can we go now?"

Al nodded. "Yea. We'll be back as soon as we can. Good luck."

Takanari smiled. "Thanks. Good luck to you as well."

Lan climbed rapidly over the seat so he was in front of Al. They both walked to the door and left. As they did this, Takanari walked into the aisle and began to look back and forth at the two train doors at each end of the cart. She was very determined to get the job done very well and protect those people who were trusted in her care.

Lan stopped and turned to face Al. "How the hell should we go about this? Wanna do it the old fashion way and charge in?"

"Sure. But I should go first. Just incase they have guns or something. They won't go through my armor." Al told him.

"Don't worry about me. But…are you sure your armor won't be damaged at all?" Lan was curious to find out what would happen if Al was shot.

"Yep. I'll be fine." Al commented.

"Fine, you go first. But I'm not scared of a gun. I can protect myself from guns. So don't be thinking I'm so helpless child." Lan told Al as he stepped aside as Al passed him in the aisle.

They walked through the cart and passed all the empty carts.

"I wonder where those punks are…and why the hell is this thing so empty?" Lan wondered.

"I-" Al began but was cut off when the door they were heading toward slammed open. Standing there was a tall man with a machine gun in his hands. He had a patch over his left right eye. He stared at them in surprise. He then whirled around and ran back to the next cart.

"Guess we're going the right way. Not that there is any other optional way to go, but that's beside the point. I bet he is running and crying to his boss. The sight of me being here must have scared the shit out of him." Lan laughed. "Let's go, Tin-Man." He put his hands on the back of Al's and began to push Al so he would walk faster. "I want to get into a nice fight with someone. I think I'm starting to get rusty."

"But you fought with my brother the day. You can't get rusty that fast." Al said. "Slow down." The pressure on this back lessened and he walked over to the door and opened it. This cart was empty just like the last one. They both made their way to the middle of the cart but stopped when they both heard a rustling and clicking sounds. Lan was just about to comment on how he thought they were not alone anymore when suddenly they were surrounded by at least fifteen bandits who had hidden themselves under the train seats and had waited until Al and Lan were in the middle. They all had their machine guns pointed at the two.

Lan spun around so he and Al were back to back. Lan saw the bandit from a few seconds earlier and smirked. "So, where's your boss? We have a meeting with him about all of this."

"We won't tell you! You're going to be dead in a few minutes anyway!" He grinned.

"Hey, I thought our boss was back at the hideout?" Someone asked.

"Shut up!" The patched-eyed bandit yelled. "Fire! Now!"

All the bandits pushed down on their triggers and opened fire on them. Bullets began to speed toward them.

Lan smirked. Ever since these guys had popped out of their hiding spots Lan had been secretly creating water while his hand was behind his back. Meanwhile, Al was worried about Lan and how he would make sure Lan got out of this unharmed.

X X

**I think there may be some glitches in this chapter or upcoming chapters. When I woke chapter one I had a completely different idea about how I wanted to do this from what it is now. But then I started to get ideas and then it changed... so I don't think I corrected a lot of the things in the first chapter to match the later chapters, so I am extremely sorry if sometimes do not match up. I shall try to fix them when I get some extra time. **


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